My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
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oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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