idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
FUCK WHALES
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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