I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
