toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize