whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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