I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
