I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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