You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
