shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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