Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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