She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.