I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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