so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
