I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice