Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party