Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.