Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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