we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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