And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
