I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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