I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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