ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
