I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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