new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
