The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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