My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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