yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
