just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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