Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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