yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he fucked my hip out of place.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
