Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I deserve this hangover.
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