Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
