my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
