i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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