Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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