In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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