I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
People in love make me want to vomit
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
try to milk me bitch
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