matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
