so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I looked at my own cervix.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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