grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need water and some morals
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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