I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
