So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My feet surprised me
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