whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
