I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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