Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
