Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
