i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
