She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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