Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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