so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
