return my video game
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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