My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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