The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Im part way to drunk.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
