it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
