fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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