ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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