will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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