I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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