You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
