did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Randomize
