i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
we should paint friendship bongs
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