Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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