yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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